ARE YOU MAKING THIS SERIOUS MISTAKE?
Playing Small for Someone Else!

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Are you making this serious mistake?

I know I did.. Playing small for someone else. 

Such a biggie.  I used to do this unconsciously… such a face palm moment. 🤦‍♀️

This was caused from programming, from my parents… and up until recent I did this probably a bit more consciously and can I tell you it does not serve you one iota. 

So Mahalia start making sense and explain it.  

The best way is for me to give you some personal examples.  

I was very ambitious, very competitive growing up, and all that jazz… Im a little less of these things now, definitely in comparison to my younger days; pre-working on myself. Anyways I always wanted to be the best, be number 1 in whatever I was doing. I was an extrovert, etc, etc. And I remember wanting to be famous. A phase in my child hood hahah, because everyone wants to be. You look at your idols and you want to be like them. 

And I remember clear to this day, being in our downstairs lounge room. Talking to my mum about it, and she was like why would you want to be one? People always are out to get you out to bring you down when you are at the top or famous or whatever. It would be a horrible life. you would have to watch everything you did BLA BLA BLA and it really stuck to me…and from then on I didn’t want that anymore for obvious reasons. Why would I want all those things that my mum had just explained to me.

Then again when I was dancing I wanted to go further…but mum was like do you really want to do that? You are going to be in the limelight, people will BLA BLA BLA and I want to state right now. I am in no way blaming my mum for this. These were her fears and things she didn’t want for herself. And I'm sure she thought she was probably protecting me from some form of something, some fear, safety or humiliation I dunno. That was where she was at at that point and thats totally fine. But I’m just telling you this story, so you can see how it affects you and so you can relate. On this instance, I did retaliate a bit, because I did really want to do this dance thing. From memory I think I did end up going. 

But these moments stuck with me…I emotionally connected to them and they became part of my programming. It’s not safe to be at the top… it’s not safe to put yourself out on a limb people will get you. And so what happens you start to sabotage yourself… so that you can’t be at the top. Maybe you get sick the day before the competition. The day of your interview your car breaks down so many things like this. So that you don’t get to that goal you want to achieve. Because deep down your subconscious is like nope…that equals danger. My job is to make us survive. Thats not safe. So bam! You self sabotage. And it’s a pain in the butt… so frustrating! Never been more frustrated in my life; until having cleared myself of a lot of it. I still find things occasionally and I’m like wow got to clear that baby haha. 

So thats unconsciously playing small…for someone else my mum. from her fears. 

Now let’s go into the most common one playing small for those around you! Argh I dunno whats worse the conscious or the unconscious one. 

In the conscious one it means you almost squash yourself to make other feel better…but by doing so you are suffocating your soul and stoping yourself from thriving!

Why do we do it? We all have done it at some point or over and over. You don't speak up when you should scared of what others may think of you or how they may react.

I was a total people pleaser, so I would do this all the time. I’d give up my own needs for others too. Like I’m sure many of you. If you had a dream offer that you really, really wanted. But there was someone next to you, who also wanted it, just as bad as you. Let’s be honest here. How many of you would step aside and let them have it? And say il take the next offer… I bet more than half of you said yep you would probably do that. Because you were being “nice”. Maybe deep down you don’t feel worthy of it and you think they probably deserve it more than me… All the lies you tell yourself, which are so…..not true!

It saddens me so much that we do this. Instead of claiming really what is ours. And it doesn't mean you have to be an asshole… But you are just being more bold and filling your cup up too. Thats more than ok, that’s how life should be! We shouldn’t play small for others. 

When you want to be more and have more your soul is saying you can do more and i want to do more…but our fears hold us back. 

Further more a lot of the time if we are surrounded by people who also have fears etc or maybe we believe they will look down on us. We don’t generally do, what we actually want to do. And that’s totally on us, not the other person. You need to build that confidence up, so you can stand strong in yourself. Not make yourself be less to accomodate those around you. 

If you are constantly worrying about everyone else's perception of you, or whether you are going to upset someone else. How are you ever going to be you? You become that person who becomes scared of their own shadow. 

Instead of that person who shines there light everywhere and lifts people to their frequency. 

Those people who reach their goals, they don’t care what people say or think about them. They say i want that! I’m going to go for that, and I’m not listening to anyone who tells me I can’t. Because everyone will tell them they cant. And those who even half open there ear to it… will struggle. 

You have to be brave and become so self assured in you that no comment is going to make you change and bend to their level. 

So many people don’t live their life, the way they want to. Based on how other people’s perception of life should look. So they live how they think people expect them to live. And it causes inner turmoil. You have felt it, I’m sure. I know i have. 

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